What the body needs
The body is a revealing thing.
In the middle of workdays, I tell myself I feel great, that I feel energized enough to complete the assignment in front of me. My body says otherwise. My body clouds my mind with a headache, it causes me to get up every few minutes to snack, it nervously taps on my keyboard trying to signal that something is wrong.
Yes, this is indeed another article about anxiety (don’t worry; I just realized this too).
On some nights, I tell myself to take it slow, to wind down and relax after a long day. My body says otherwise. My body leaps out of bed, tapping into an unknown reservoir of ATP, compels me to find some caffeine, and excites my heart into action. Despite my best intentions my body wants to see the world, my body wants to meet people, wants to consume alcohol, and dance the night away to release all this tension.
My body and my mind feel disconnected. My body needs different things than my mind thinks it does. This brings us to my current issue: yoga.
It’s not that I don’t like yoga, I do. I appreciate its known health benefits, its potential to improve mental health, and its ability to be this healing process for your worn-out body. But I just can’t get over how boring it is.
My mind enjoys adrenaline-inducing workouts. Well, it absolutely abhors the thought of it at first but it comes to enjoy it after a certain point. Workouts that really let your mind clear and your body take over, to free yourself of all thoughts for just a second. Yoga doesn’t do that for me. Yoga requires me to clear my mind on my own while my body focuses on reaching a static pose.
It’s difficult for me to get past this hurdle, to do something that doesn’t satisfy my mind but heals my body. But I need to. As I’ve aged and started working out more intensely, my body has become increasingly inflexible. I felt that a warm-up and cool-down stretch would be enough to satiate my body. Judging by the strain currently in my lower back after a box lunge went wrong, I think it’s safe to say my assumption was incorrect.
I don't want to live a life in pain, or in fear of pain. Like most Americans in this country, my body’s inflexibility is a product of the stationery lifestyle we live. What’s crazy is that I’m 24, I don’t think it should be this bad.
There’s more to say about my desire to clear my head, to rid myself of the thoughts occupying my mind. But that conversation deserves its own piece. For now, despite my hesitation, I commit to doing yoga (or some form of flexibility-based workout) for the sake of healing my body.
I want to work toward bridging the divide of mind and body and truly listening and responding to the things my body needs. It’s the only one I got, so might as well do some maintenance.
